The 2018 NFL Draft All-Name Team, led by Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown and Dee Liner - SB Nation

Hello, NFL fan. You've barely heard of most of the following players, and that's fine. We're here today to familiarize you with some of the beauteous syllables enjoyed over the last four years by college football fans, so you don't have to look up on draft night all, "Wait, there's a guy named Barkevious?" Yeah, and he was pretty famous for years before he got drafted in 2013, with entire blog posts about his name way back in 2009.

Sorry! Anyway, let's fill out a starting 22-ish of 2018 prospects.

This is a Justified character, specifically a country dentist who gets in deep with the Dixie Mafia because it's blackmailing him for distilling backwash. Like the QB, this dentist is from Sam Houston State.

The No. 2 weekend morning AM sports radio host in all of Massachusetts. Since 2011, has been calling for Bill Belichick to be fired.

Equanimous' brothers are named Osiris Adrian Amen-Ra J. St. Brown and Amon-Ra Julian Heru J. St. Brown. They are also wide receivers.

Wide receivers always carry all-name teams. If you give your child an excellent enough name, he or she will become a wide receiver.

The 2018 NFL Draft All-Name Team, led by Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown and Dee Liner - SB NationThe 2018 NFL Draft All-Name Team, led by Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown and Dee Liner - SB Nation

Will Clapp.

He plays D line.

Now I wish Trent Tanking was awesome at basketball. Imagine the Suns and Hawks tanking for Tanking.

Christian Sam might not be that exciting of a name, but I like the idea of an Arizona State player being very outwardly pious.

"Hi, I'm Sam, and I'm so devout, they call me Christian Sam."

"So why do you go to Arizona State, of all places?"

Christian Sam could have all sorts of answers.

Not the strongest group of DB names this year, other than Armani Watts, the most electric man in fashion.

You're welcome, NFL fan. Now you know about the best names.

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